Life Coach Ania Jeffries has this advice to help you spring clean the relationships in your life – with family, loved ones and yourself…
Life is full of choices. We create the thoughts in our head and the life we live. We also choose how we behave towards our external environment and how we respond to the people in it. This month should be an opportunity to declutter your life and that includes looking at your relationships with friends, family, loved ones, colleagues and most importantly with yourself. Here a few tips to grow more meaningful relationships:
1. RE-EVALUATE YOUR FRIENDSHIPS
You need to work out which friends drain you and which friends grow you, and make you feel good about yourself. Think of your friends like a drawer of socks:
a) The ones with holes but you can’t bear to throw them away – those are the friends you need in your life always. Regardless of what’s going on in your life they are always there for you.
b) The ones that look absolutely gorgeous but you will never wear them – those are the friends you don’t need.
c) The ones that you wear occasionally –those are the friends that dip in and out of your life. You might not see them very often but they are important to you.
Then ask yourself this question: which of these friends will a) support you when you are wrong, b) pretend to support you but behind your back will not be saying nice things about you, and c) tell you that you are wrong even if they know it might upset you, will still love you and ask how they can help you.
2. REFLECT ON THE WAY YOU COMMUNICATE
It has a massive impact on your relationships. Reflect on the language you use with others – is it friendly or aggressive? Do you point your finger at people, shake your head, stare at them, roll your eyes? Do you make eye contact or prefer to text whilst talking to them? Do you use language that makes them feel uncomfortable? Do you show empathy towards them, respect their opinion? Do you judge them before knowing their story?
3. BE MINDFUL OF THE LANGUAGE YOU USE WITH YOURSELF
Do you sometimes create thoughts and feelings which are not reality? You know that inner chatter that we all have. Stop listening to it. It affects not only your mental wellbeing but everyone around you.
Do you sometimes unknowingly create negative energy with your behaviour? Ask yourself how do you make others feel when they are with you? What do you think they say about you after they leave you? What would you like them to say about you?
We all have a voice and need to be heard.
5. DROP THE EGO
No-one likes to hear someone puffing up their chest. We all face challenges but few people talk about them. So show some humility, and people will love you more.
Admit when you make mistakes – we are all human. Be a role model to those around you, your friends and family.
7. SPEND QUALITY TIME WITH THOSE YOU LOVE
Whether it’s making time for a coffee, cuddle on the sofa or a walk in the park. If you are too busy, leave a note, flowers in a vase, send a text. Let them know you are thinking of them.
8. SHOW LOVE AND GRATITUDE
No matter how small a gesture always be appreciative and show it.
9. LOVE YOURSELF
When you love yourself first others will then love back.
10. KEEP REFLECTING ON YOUR RELATIONSHIPS
It’s a two way process. Not a one way street.