The secret diary of a bride to be

The secret diary of a bride to be

Wedding

It’s our secret bride’s final column, and she’s sweating the small stuff…

I NEED YOU to call me urgently RE cutlery.’ That’s the email I woke up to today from my caterer, who is doing nothing to calm me down in the run up to my big day, which is now just days away.
There may be mere weeks until Christmas now, but while you’re probably excited about decorating the tree, the thought of mince pies and Yuletide cheer couldn’t be further from my mind. Instead of buzzing about tinsel, I’m having a breakdown about teaspoons.
As the wedding draws closer, the phrase I hear most often, is ‘it’ll all come together.’ While I admire other people’s optimism, at this stage I’m doubtful. Today, when I did call the caterer, I had a 15 minute conversation with her about how many forks we needed, and whether we required pastry forks as well as regular dessert forks. Then, she decided we probably needed neither.
A married friend, who has already been through the whole wedding planning debacle has assured me that on the day I won’t notice if small things don’t happen or if things go wrong. This is reassuring, but it doesn’t stop me having little meltdowns whenever there’s a wobble.
I couldn’t sleep the other night because the confetti we ordered hadn’t turned up yet, and I’ve been obsessively googling the weather because it’s still the one thing that could, quite literally put a dampener on my day.
Hoping someone would sympathise with my neuroticism, I logged on to a wedding forum and shared my stresses. The first response: ‘well you did book a winter wedding, did you really expect it not to rain? To be honest, it sounds like you’re having a bit of a meltdown.’ Not quite the reassurance I was after.
I think I’m sweating the small stuff because all the bigger things are taken care of – I’ve collected my dress, my fiancé
finally has a shirt (after various late night Bluewater trips to source a plain white shirt – who knew there were so many?!) and we’ve paid most of our balances. Now that I don’t have to worry about booking the band or sourcing caterers, I’m finding myself kept up at night worrying about every minute detail. What if it snows and nobody can make it to our remote country venue? What if the makeup artist suddenly gets a celebrity booking and I get sacked off for someone from Strictly?
Deep down, I know it’s completely pointless worrying about ‘what if ’. The chances are, the day will be perfect, and my friend is probably right – even if it’s not, I won’t notice. But until I’ve walked down the aisle without tripping up, cut the cake without slicing off a finger and managed to successfully steer clear of guests dancing wildly with red wine in hand, I think a few more sleepless nights might be on the way, so I can add ‘looking tired’ to the list of worries. Still, at least when it’s all over, I’ll be carefree…oh wait, there’s the small matter of Christmas first…