October Confidential

October Confidential

Why will this make you despair? Because it’s about health and safety gone mad. This Mayfield woman goes to the Job Centre with a friend who has been made redundant. She’s asked to wait in an open area while her friend is interviewed. Aged 70 and partially sighted she sits down on an empty chair. Minutes later a woman appears and orders her to stand up because: “This chair has not been cleared by Health and Safety for public use.” The woman was forced to stand alongside the empty chair while waiting for her friend. You couldn’t make it up. And (sadly) we didn’t!

Who needs to lower his voice while talking in restaurants? The well known property developer clearly overheard trying to raise funds for his latest project. Seems recent deals have left him short of change.

Why should this young entrepreneur watch his step? Because he’s in danger of being ’banned’ from business networking events for being a bit of a nuisance where the ladies are concerned. Event organisers have their beady eye on him.

Where might you find American actress cum fashion designer Mary Kate Olsen these days?  Enjoying the delights of the Three Chimneys in Biddenden is the answer. She’s been spotted at the pub on more than one occasion.

Why did this young lady nearly die of shame at a set of traffic lights? Because she stalled her car three times trying to pull away in third while, coincidentally, her one-time driving instructor sat in the vehicle behind her roaring with laughter. Fine job he did.

Who had the last laugh on a bungling bag thief? This would be the woman who bought a new handbag and carried it home over her shoulder. In a bustling crowd a young man managed to undo the clasp and snatch the contents. He raced off holding nothing more than the bits of paper used to pack out the bag while on display in the shop.

Why did this chap cause a bit of a stir at the petrol station? Because he walked in touting a hunting gun. Staff were somewhat alarmed until he explained it wasn’t loaded and he’d been advised never to leave it in an unattended vehicle.

Why is Binky smiling? Because she’s just returned from a long holiday and we hear there was a bit of romance in the air. Hopefully that’ll mean an end to her infatuation with the married man. Friends have their fingers crossed.