Remember, we’re always listening…
















Overheard at a Wealden Christmas fair
“Mummy, are mince pies made from spaghetti bolognese and lasagne?”

Overheard in a Sevenoaks shop

Woman 1: “These Christmas decorations are gorgeous, but I don’t need any more.”

Woman 2: “Oh, just do what I do, buy them one by one and hang them on the tree straight away. My husband still hasn’t noticed, and I’ve spent hundreds!

Overheard in Bluewater shopping centre

Woman: “Wow, that woman has the exact baby bump I want. From behind you wouldn’t even know she was pregnant.”

Man: “But you’re not even pregnant. Why do you want a bump?”

Overheard in a Tunbridge Wells cinema

“I really don’t want to cry in this film. I have such an ugly crying face.”

Overheard at a dinner party in Tunbridge Wells

“This is a very comfy seat, but unfortunately I’m too far away to reach my Prosecco.”

Overheard in Waitrose, Hawkhurst

“It really upsets me that pigs in blankets are only a Christmas thing. Why do shops think we don’t want to wrap our sausages in bacon all year round?”