My Rant


Forget bunnies and bonnets – in our house, Easter is celebrated with the shameless guzzling of chocolate. As any half-serious chocoholic will tell you, the heinous act is a richly rewarding one, giving a chemical boost to your sense of wellbeing and flooding your tongue with that gloriously gooey gratification. We are designed to crave and relish these sweet treats, but it is a pleasure that is over all too soon, with only that extra inch on the hips remaining to attest to its joys.

Willpower is sorely tested at Easter, when temptation comes in abundance and is often coated in chocolate. There are points in life when ‘no’ ought to be the answer. It isn’t that big a word, but sometimes it is the hardest thing to say.
Some people, however, have no problem. They are so high on the horse they couldn’t reach the Lindt gold bunnies if they were bent double. (Fret not, I am certainly not that person).

Then there are those who hopelessly try to limit their egg intake. They linger over the overwhelming choices in the aisle, debating the pros and cons of empty eggs versus those filled with Smarties, Cadbury’s Fruit and Nut or Oreo stuffed, questioning how naughty they really want to be. If they grab a bag of mini eggs, does that mean they will be encouraged to only nibble on a measly few each day, or will they (more realistically) scoff the whole lot in one sitting? It is a minefield.

Others are closet eaters – you can find these poor souls standing at the end of the till, frantically insisting to the cashier that they are ‘only buying them for the kids’. They will be racing to bag their stash before someone familiar walks into the local Waitrose and catches them sticky-handed.

I find it bizarre that this time of year simultaneously urges us to buy all the chocolate on the shelves and then applaud those who can muster up the willpower to refrain from eating it. But I ask you – where is the fun in that? When you go to yoga three times a week, does the odd chocolate bunny really warrant you to be so critical of yourself, and worse, others?

We are so concerned by our position on the willpower rankings that the word ‘no’ has been elevated to celebrity status.
But if you ask me, ‘no’ isn’t that great. Personified, it would be that horrid relative that nobody wants at their Easter Sunday lunch, but everyone feels obliged to invite. ‘No’ has such a finality about it that no room is left for compromise, (or Crème Eggs).

What is needed is a more subtle approach to the chocolate debate, for those of us who not only want to, but probably will, negotiate our way into a guilt-free gorge. Albeit one Ferrero Rocher at a time…

Perhaps it shouldn’t be willpower, but won’t power. Won’t you have another? Don’t mind if I do…

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