Confidential is where we bring you the best of the local gossip and rumours.
WHO said the wrong thing when he went fishing?
The granddad who watched a toddler admiring the wriggling fish he had caught and was holding in his hand. “Pop it in your trousers pocket”, he told the boy. He did just that; parents not amused
WHO lost their cool during the TW Local & Live music festival?
The chap spotted outside Coté brasserie in Mount Pleasant Road smashing his acoustic guitar against a lamp post. Eventually he walked away in disgust the leaving the broken bits. Obviously his set did not go down well
WHY are these parents worried about their daughter playing Minecraft?
Because the six-year-old has started talking with an American accent, like the guys narrating the popular game where kids place blocks on screen to build things. Don’t let her watch EastEnders!
WHO lost their heart at the TW Food and Drink Festival?
That would be the blonde who chatted up a visiting Italian wine merchant after he told her he was ‘single’. Hours later it transpired she had misheard. He had actually advised he was a ‘singer’. Yeah, right!
WHY are Binky-watchers getting excited?
Because the lady we started following two years ago with her on-off affairs, has apparently found love again this time through online dating. He is a businessman, divorced with two kids. Fingers, and toes, crossed for Binky then.
WHY is this protest group against Gatwick airport expansion getting mixed messages?
Because it’s called East Sussex Communities for the Control of Air Noise or ESCCAN. Just like another other ESCCAN – the Efficient and Safe Cooking Campaign in Nigeria.
WHO has to get rid of their cherished collection of beer mugs?
Answer: The chap who has just set up home with his girlfriend. She has no love of the 40 glasses that were ‘liberated’ from bars across Europe over the years and has ‘requested’ they be removed from their home. Cheers!
WHY do these party goers feel somewhat out of pocket?
They were invited to a colleague’s farewell bash on The Pantiles where they were encouraged to enjoy the open bar. End of the night, though, they were also encouraged to contribute to the cost of the evening. That sobered them up.
WHICH Indian restaurant needs to brush up on its spelling?
The one that offers customers lamb tikka as an option. Unfortunately that’s not quite what it says on the menu which offers hungry patrons limb tikka. You couldn’t make it up.
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