Confidential is where we bring you the best of the local gossip and rumours.
WHICH estate agent has a cowboy boot fetish?
That would be the one who rides a Harley, would love to be a Hell’s Angel and still talks about the time he was stopped and asked to strip at the airport for wearing so much bling. On top of that he once wore a pink tutu!
WHICH gardener failed to see his love grow?
Answer: The chap who took a liking to the daughter of one of his clients and taped a billet-doux to the handle of her car. Sadly his feelings were not returned and he has now packed his bags to travel the world.
WHO caused a bit of a laugh when they answered the cordless phone?
Simples: The granddad who heard it ring at his home, grabbed the device and was shouting ‘hello” with little response – only to realise he was talking into the TV remote he had picked up by mistake. Way to go granddad!
WHAT caused this bride-to-be to get in a lather?
The fact she lined up everything for the big day, church, reception, caterers etc, only to realise weeks before the wedding that she had forgotten to book one vital thing; time off from work. And there were no slots left! Her kindly boss came to the rescue.
WHY did this lunch leave a sour taste?
Because one of the six women who sat down for the regular get together at a local restaurant ‘forgot’ to open her purse and pay her way. When the bill was split and the pot counted, it was short by one person and no one held their hand up.
WHO ended up with a boring meal after claiming a food allergy?
The chap at a slap up sporting lunch who, as a joke, insisted he reacted badly to flour made from the lupin seeds. She went out and bought him an allergy free value meal from Boots. His friends had glazed belly of pork.
WHO believes that love is stronger than a pre-nuptial contract?
That would be the high profile couple, think hospitality, who have been mulling it over since announcing their marriage. Friends are now being told they won’t need any legal agreement – their love will last forever.
WHICH headmistress needs to watch her wardrobe?
The one who girl pupils believe is breaching her own school rules by wearing skirts that are a tiny bit too short. Students themselves are banned from revealing too much leg. Pass that tape measure!
WHO got more than they bargained for on Gumtree?
The kind gent who offered a fourseater sofa for free on the classified ad site to anyone willing to collect. Nice young lady arrives to collect but with no help; only tears. He and friends spend the evening lugging the sofa to a top floor flat.
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